Divorce Series: 50 Ways How Not To Leave Your Lover: #3 — HandlingConflict.com

This is part of on ongoing series critiquing a book out there called “Divorce War!” I write more about the series on the page called “Divorce War DON’TS”. The book lists 50 strategies. Some are legitimate and some are not and these are potentially or actually unethical or criminal. I’m reviewing all 50 strategies with a “don’t” perspective, with a new post from time to time.

DON’T#3. Hire the toughest, best-liked, and most highly connected lawyer money can buy.

Believe it or not, the writer means “most highly connected” with the divorce judges:

Does he or she have a relationship on a first-name basis with the judge? Do they play golf, tennis, or otherwise socialize together? The stronger the relationship, the better off you are with the lawyer. It’s not always what you know, but who you know. In legal societies, the “good old boy” system still exists pretty much as it did a century ago.

This is insulting to the judiciary, and in its own way naive, or worse, lazy, which translates into potentially dangerous for you. Continue reading

Divorce Series: 50 Ways How NOT To Leave Your Lover: #2 — HandlingConflict.com

This is part of on ongoing series critiquing a book out there called “Divorce War!” I write more about the series on the page called “Divorce War DON’TS”. The book lists 50 strategies. Some are legitimate and some are not and these are potentially or actually unethical or criminal. I’m reviewing all 50 strategies with a “don’t” perspective.

DON’T#2. Never trust that your husband has provided you with full or accurate information about his assets and financial situation.

Really? You certainly trusted this person once enough to choose to marry!

If you are considering divorce you are likely in a state of great stress, and you probably want to be careful about your assumptions as well as your actions. It’s hard to think straight under duress, and you might make some bad choices. Divorce happens between good and honest people, too! What, if anything, gives you cause, when you pause, to think that your spouse might have been or is lying to you? If you have grounds for distrust, do consider what if anything you need to do because of that. But without having grounds for disbelief, be careful about demonizing your spouse, especially if you have children. Continue reading

Divorce Series: 50 Ways How NOT To Leave Your Lover: #1 — HandlingConflict.com

This is part of on ongoing series critiquing a book out there called “Divorce War!” I write more about the series on the page called “Divorce War DON’TS”. The book lists 50 strategies. Some are legitimate and some are not and these are potentially or actually unethical or criminal. I’m reviewing all 50 strategies with a “don’t” perspective.

DON’T #1. Planning for your divorce requires a minimum of six months.

Hmmm, it depends. What is your personal situation? To “plan” for a divorce usually means that you are living every day in the same household and circumstances that you have decided you must change. If you or your children are being badly affected by what is going on in the home, you might not be able to or want to act as if nothing is wrong in order to “plan” your divorce.

Learn more! For a good selection of free articles on many issues in divorce, go to Mediate.com, the most visited conflict resolution site on the web.